So, you get invited to a party two weeks before it’s planned and you agree to go and tell your friend how excited you are to go! The day of the party is here and you’re in bed, pajamas on, Netflix on. You have zero intention of going to the party but you’re friend reallyyy wants you to go. What do you do? You come up with an excuse to not go or you make an appearance and leave early…. and we mean 30 minutes after you show up you want to leave.
Or in a different situation, you’ve agreed to drinks with a co-worker after a long day or a movie with a friend, the list is endless. Before you get started, we are not responsible for any consequences that may occur! So, here we go:
1.I have to take your kids somewhere… (this only works if you actually have a child FYI
If nobody has told you, you can use your kids to get out of things you may not want to do… but don’t get to carried away with it. It’s the middle of the week and you had something planned with a friend and you’re not feelin’ it anymore. You just send a quick text to your friend saying, “sorry for the late notice, but I just found out (insert name here) has a dance rehearsal, we’ll have to find a different day to make plans!”
2. I conveniently just forget about the party Saturday night…
If you’re invited to a party by someone you’re not very close with, you’re usually pretty hesitant to go in the first place. Thankfully, if it’s not someone you see too often, then you may get away with not going and them not noticing. But if worse comes to worst and they send you a, “why didn’t you come to the party?!” you can just reply with, “I’m so sorry, I totally forget it was this weekend!” Easy peasy.
3. I think I got food poisoning from something I ate yesterday, it was probably the Romaine lettuce!
As long as you tell the person you’re projectile vomiting or you’ve been on the toilet all day, you should be set. Nobody’s going to ask you details about that information. So, if you’re comfortable enough with the person to use this excuse, it’ll work.
4. My child is sick! (aka. your doggo)
Almost everyone that owns a pet treats it like a child, so you’ll most likely get sympathy from anyone you use this on. And you’ll slide easily without getting crap from anyone.
5. I got called into work ughhh!
There’s an emergency at work and I have to go in and help take care of it. This will only work for some jobs so be careful! But in all honestly you know that work is your bed and the emergency is that you don’t want to leave it.
6. I’ve got some family problems going on and I need to be with them right now
If you can use this one without feeling any guilt, then be my guest. Nobody is going to question you about any family problems because that’s a personal thing. They’ll probably wish you and your family the best and go on with their day.
7. I just started my period and have really bad cramps 
Sorry guys, this one isn’t going to work for you but you’re the lucky ones in the end. But if you’re use this one on a guy it’s probably going to freak them out because they want nothing to do with it. And if you use this excuse with a girl, they’re going to sympathize with you because they’ve gone through the agonizing pain of cramps.
8. My baby sitter bailed last minute
You agreed to meet another couple for dinner and drinks a few weeks ago. Now that the day is here you want nothing more than to sit on the couch in your pj’s, fist deep in a gallon of ice cream while your children sleep. So you have to blame someone and it’s not going to be you.
9. My friend’s boyfriend just broke up with her and she needs me to be there
This one is actually quite believable because boys are always out breaking hearts, but don’t get me wrong girls do it too! Instead of bringing over ice cream and chocolate over to your imaginary friend’s house, you save it all for yourself during your night in.
10. I’ve got a doctors appointment
Please don’t try to use this one on a Saturday night at 11:00 pm! This one will probably only work if you’re trying to get out of an early dinner or something along those lines.
11. I’m not ready to start seeing someone already
You’ve dug too deep into all of their social media platforms and found something you did not like and you don’t how to get out of your date with them. Just tell them you recently got out of a long term relationship (even if it’s been 3 years) and you aren’t ready to start dating.
12. I drank a few too many bottles of wine
Nobody wants you drinking and driving so just tell them you don’t feel comfortable driving anywhere. But they may offer to pick you up so this is one you might have to be careful with
13. I’ve already made plans
This one will work for a variety of things like when your boss asks you to stay late to finish up some paperwork, dodging a date you don’t want to go on, or really anything you don’t want to do. That’s why this one is a good go-to excuse.
14. My car is in the shop right now
Someone asks you to run an errand for them and you have no intention on coming through for them or you just don’t want to move from the couch. Tell them you hit something and you won’t have your car for a COUPLE days in case they ask you to do it the next day.
15. I’ve got an important package coming that has to be signed for
This is a good one if you don’t want to leave your house by any means and you don’t want to miss your super special package that’s going to be delivered. And yes, maybe it is a whole pizza that’s your going to have to yourself.
16. I got an unexpected visit from my parents and they’ve got suitcases
This will let someone know that you will not be available for at least the whole weekend. Parent’s don’t bring suitcases for no reason.
17. I have $-30 in my bank account
This may be true or it may not be but you don’t have to tell anyone that. If you had dinner plans, this should get you out of it unless the person you’re going to dinner with is either really nice or really wealthy
Before you put any of these excuses into action, there’s a few things you need to know:
- If it’s something important that you’ve got planned, do not do it last minute. Make sure you give some type of heads up before you bail
- Don’t make your excuse elaborate and detailed because it will definitely look sketchy
- If you’re not good at lying, you must do it over text because you’re very likely to crack and ruin your excuse
- Don’t make excuses every time you make plans with someone because that will look bad on your part and that person may never ask you to do something with them again
- If you feel the need to tell the truth as to why you won’t be attending a party, date, get-together, etc. then go with your gut
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